Anxiety & Me!

Friday, 3 July 2015

Hey Guys!!

Looking back I don't think I ever noticed really that I had anxiety at the time, now I can see that when I was crying and feeling panicked that was due to anxiety. This was back when I was 15/16 and that was when I found out I had an Underactive Thyroid. 

Fast forward to when I was 19 and that's when I actually realised I had anxiety. This was due to the fact that 3 months after I moved out with Llewellyn for the very first time our flat got broken into. It was the one day I decided to go out and I came back to the flat trashed and a lot of our stuff was gone. After that I was so panicked and crying all the time, it took me ages to be able to actually leave the flat which affected my college course at the time. If we had to go out for a meal I would have a panic attack, if we were going to the cinema I would have a panic attack and that cycle continued for a long time.

In roughly 2012, I think I can't really remember to be honest, I finally got the courage to go to the Drs about it. It helped that my friend at the time came with me for a bit of support as I didn't really tell anyone other than Llewellyn and her how I felt. It was such a relief to get a sort of weight off my shoulder and know that I can now deal with it with help rather than on my own. This was when I went on to anti-depressants.

They helped a bit for a while but I found I was able to deal with it without medication as I was having support from family and friends. We then moved and for a little bit my anxiety got worse due to a creepy, alcoholic, neighbour and again I would get panicky leaving the flat, I would also shut off all the lights and lock myself away in the bedroom. It was ridiculous how bad it was so I made the decision of going back on anti-depressants and to look for a new place to live.

So fast forward to the present day!! I am in a new place which we have been in for over a year now and is so much better. I would like to say I am 'better' now in the sense of I don't take anti-depressants anymore and haven't for a long time. I still get anxious, as it never truly goes away, which is the same for all mental health issues. I can definitely deal with it better now as I know when it is 'coming', if that's the right word to use. It only tends to flare up now if I am going to a new place as I don't know where everything is and it's worse if Llewellyn isn't with me. Also it flares up when I don't know what to expect from a situation, if that makes sense, like I get really panicky/have a panic attack if I am going to the Dentist for the first time or to see a new Dr for the first time, basically the first time for everything is always scary to me.

And that is my Anxiety story, I thought I would share, even though it is quite rambly and long, as it is a lot more common than people think, and I don't think there is enough awareness raised for any Mental Health Issue.

I hope anybody that reads this can gain some awareness from it.

If you would like to see a post on the techniques I use to help with my Anxiety and Panic Attacks, let me know in the comments below!! 

Hope you are all having a good day!!

See You Soon!!